How David even knew the word “rape,” how he would have learned it, or why it was coming to mind now, was a curiosity that quickly gave way to apathy. David surrendered to the encroaching blackness, fearing not even death. “Death,” he reasoned, “could not be worse than this.” He welcomed it.
He surrendered his fear, his will, and his individual self. He reasoned that having an individual identity was not worth it, in such a world. In such a world, it does not bode well to exist. He was done playing this game that he could not win.
David found himself in a state of bliss. Still witnessing reality from a distance, David was aware of a profound grace, limitless space, and an ineffable serenity.
Knowingness came to David in the form of absolute certainty. It was not so much a voice as it was the unfolding of absolute truth that spoke directly to his heart and mind simultaneously.
David innately recognized the unmistakable presence of God. It was a simple, graceful power beyond space and time — unquestionable and ineffable. It was impossible to mistake. The subjective reality of the experience was so obvious, he couldn’t believe his ignorance to have forgotten it in the first place.
What appeared before him was a translucent ball of effervescent light, shimmering with a soft ripple that was inexpressibly graceful in motion. His heart ached to return to that source, but he was denied. On some level, David knew that it was not his time. He knew that he would have to return to the world of the living.
The knowingness spoke once more, saying simply, “Go back. Go back, with the Armies of God by your side.”
... As soon as I get over my ego about it.